Truly, They Are Destined

You’re almost there, BastingTub6719. Checking to see if she’s a girl after you’ve already started was a mis-step, sure, but starting over fresh was good. I feel you can save this with the ultimate weapon: a rose emoticon.

“Isn’t this just the sweetest thing? This guy seems to think we’re meant to be after a match of Halo: Reach. The smiley face was a nice touch.”

BastingTub6719 - 1BastingTub6719 - 2BastingTub6719 - 3

  • Anonymous

    What is this “boyfriend girlfriend” you are speaking of? Is this a new social phenomenon or is your message a bad case of LGS. (Lazy Grammar Syndrome)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1511923273 Björn Hansson

    I can’t see why this would be sexist and offensive. 

    Butthurt stuff like this is ruining the website. 

  • http://www.inklesspen.com Jon Rosebaugh

    I’d like to thank you for returning to our website for your second comment, six months after your first. As one of our most loyal readers, your opinion is important to us. Rest assured, your concern for our butts and any pain therein will be taken into account at the highest levels of our organization. After all, we certainly wouldn’t want to ruin the website.

  • http://thestrayworld.com/ Rewarp

     What a useful acronym. Please allow me to steal it. LGS™.

  • Raichu

    Well, it’s a little creepy because they’re being hit on by a complete stranger. Possibly sexist because when a girl is on the internet obviously she’s just their looking for dudes, not to actually play a game. But definitely full of fail.

  • http://twitter.com/atheistsam Colin Bell

    saying its sexiest is jumping to conclusions, if this was as bad as it get the internet would be a much better place

  • Anonymous

    “saying its sexiest is jumping to conclusions”

    No one said it was “sexiest”… *wink!*

    And Raichu said “possibly sexist” so she(?) isn’t jumping to a conclusion, though she(?) seems to be leaning towards one.

    “if this was as bad as it get the internet would be a much better place”

    Heh. Amen to that.

  • Anonymous

    Is it really creepy to be hit on by a random stranger?  Or does it depend on the stranger and context?  What does “creepy” mean to you?

    In this case, I just feel sad for…. *scrolls back up* “BastingTub”? Ew.  Now I’m a little creeped out.  I’m not sure what “BastingTub” means, but it sounds gross.

    Why would you need a whole tub to baste?  And why would they use it to represent themselves?

  • Raichu

    For me personally, yeah, I’m always going to be creeped out if a complete stranger hits on me. *shrug*

    And yeah, I thought about the name too. Weird.

  • Raichu

    Just to clarify, yeah, I’m a “she” :)

    This is definitely far from the worst thing that happens on the internet. But degrees of badness doesn’t mean a lesser bad thing isn’t bad. If that makes sense.

    Again, this isn’t necessarily sexist (potentially so – depends on the outlook of the author) but it does send me creepy vibes.

    It’s one of the mildest things on this site, to be sure. Should it have been included? I don’t know, but you have to draw the line somewhere, and no matter where you draw it someone is going to be upset. I think overall this site does a good job of doing what it says it’s going to do.

  • http://twitter.com/atheistsam Colin Bell

    I think its fair to include this on the site, its a foolish thing to ask a stranger, but after seeing a video by a wow player encouraging people to bully women in game because they have breasts (or something like that) this seems tame

  • http://facebook.com/deathbydd DeathbyDD

    Oh! Phew! I thought it would be asking something unreasonable like asking to be lovers or sumthing. I see nuthin’ wrong with dis. I have, like sooooooo many girlfriends and boyfriends ^_~

  • http://facebook.com/deathbydd DeathbyDD

     WUT!? Raichu is a gurrl!? Will you be my gurlfriend!? ^_~

    PS: If thats a pokemon reference, u r da BESTest!

  • http://facebook.com/deathbydd DeathbyDD

    Well that seems a bit excessive! I mean, who doesn’t like breasteses?
    Also, how many people followed his advice?

  • Raichu

    I…yes, I’m a girl, did you think I was a guy? And yes, it’s a Pokemon reference.

  • Anonymous

    I believe DxDD was just being humorously ironic.

  • http://facebook.com/deathbydd DeathbyDD

     Yes, I was ‘artfully’ utilizing satire. Although the poke-reference is still cool. ^_^

  • http://twitter.com/Tel_Prydain Tel Prydain

    Frankly, compared to the rest of this site, this one is almost sweet.  
    >_<

    Although… BastingTub6719? Was BastingTub 1 through 6718 taken?

  • Anonymous

    This has caused enough upset to someone, that they would take a screenshot and send it in, and this site came to the conclusion, that he deserves to be “outed” and “shamed” like this? Really?

    Yes, it’s silly. Yes, it’s even pathetic. But for all you know this might be a confused, hormonal teenage boy, with the social skills of a rabid bulldog. Does he deserve to be shamed for this?

    What bad did he do? Asked someone their gender, and whether they would want to be their “xbox girlfriend”. Heavens, the nerve. Reminds me of a lot of 11-15 year olds who would have Habbo-relationships on that chat site. To make a big deal out of it is just plain silly. And let me assure you, that 99% of the males here on this site, deserve to be outed. But this, and similar posts, is where the line gets crossed from “showing off how terrible a certain problem can be”, to “making a big deal out of non-issues”, and just plain being mean for the sake of it.

    Do you cry every time some guy tries to pick you up at a bar/club? I doubt it. You’re just there to have fun, too. And let’s be honest, it does the ego plenty good, doesn’t it? It’s a universal truth that people like attention and compliments when they put themselves “out there”. So then, why is it such a big deal on the internet, or more specifically in video-games? And I saw someone say, “well, it’s bad because it’s a complete stranger hitting on her!” Makes me wonder… who do they want to be hit on by? The guys in their circle of friends (guys mostly already deemed as “not boyfriend material”)? … relatives? Ew. All jokes aside, most relationships, whether it’s friendship or marriage, come from meeting a stranger. Hell, when it comes down to it, everyone you meet is a stranger at some point. It starts right at birth.

    I also wonder, since I am sure this site is visited by a lot of feminists, how many of them then turn around, and rage against guys “slut shaming” females, because they sleep around, when here they point fingers at guys, like this, for trying to “score”, in stupid places.

    If unsolicited attention like this is one of your worst problems, I suggest you go outside and live a little. You will find the world is a harsh place. And when you compare real problems to this, you might even, a little bit, start to actually appreciate the fact that you are desirable, even if it’s just for your body, and because you have an extra chromosome. A lot of people — mostly men — aren’t that lucky, and some will die never knowing what it’s like to actually be considered desirable. And yeah, I know, too much of a good thing is bad. But trust me, I’d rather be hit on by morbidly obese, toothless females everywhere I go, than not get any attention at all, because I am undesirable. Much in the same way I would rather be hated because I am rich, and be forced to deal with the problems that come with financial wealth, than being hated for being piss poor and homeless. Which one would you rather have to deal with? Mind you, if you say “I wouldn’t want to be desirable”, you have to realize, that even if you want someone, they will not want you back. And for the majority of females this is frustration they will never have to deal with. The world isn’t, and never will be perfect. You pick your poison, always.

    This guy just plain doesn’t deserve to be on here.

  • Anonymous

    Okay, let’s chill out a little bit.

    First off, I want to say that I agree with you more than you may think.  This site is known for showcasing misogyny, so seeing a post about some poor schmuck awkwardly– pathetically– hitting on someone over XBL, it seems way out of place.

    I also really dislike that they keep the name visible of these embarrassing messages.  Their shame doesn’t need to be publicly enshrined, and doing so, I feel, is being way more shitty to source of unwanted attention than it is to give awkward unwanted attention.

    Still, FUoS staff has said that the main intent of this blog is to find humor.  That means truly misogynistic stuff may get cut if there isn’t a funny angle on it.  It also means that some stuff that isn’t out-right women-hating will make it in.

    And while stuff like this isn’t misogynistic, there’s still the point to be made that plenty of women don’t like this kind of attention.  Posts like these, while humorous, can also serve as the head on the pike to warn others not to make the same mistake (though the point could still be made while keeping the offender anonymous).

  • Anonymous

    I generally understand the humour aspect of it. But in this specific case, with the name shown, it’s just plain bullying. It’s the online equivalent of some older kids taking away some young boy’s secret letter to his crush, and reading it out loud to the whole recess area to laugh at him.

    I also understand that some women don’t like this type of attention. It’s fairly understandable. However, if this is as far as it goes, then it’s a non-issue. How can any female in the world be upset at “hey, wanna be my girlfriend?” That’s an awkward compliment, isn’t it? And if anything, it should be slightly annoying at best and quickly forgotten.

    I guess it’s the culmination of all the crap that females have to suffer through by the dumb, horny male masses, why even insignificant stuff such as this strikes a nerve. But you have to choose your battles, and going against this just sheds a bad light on the cause. In my opinion, at least. As I said, 99% of posts here are well deserved, this, however just goes into the field of bullying. And that’s where it crosses the line for me.

  • http://www.inklesspen.com Jon Rosebaugh

    I’m running out of ways to say this so I hope this will work.

    You have the right to be interested in a person. That’s your emotions and your libido; that’s your right. But that’s as far as your right goes.

    You do NOT have the right to express your interest in ways that make that person uncomfortable. You do NOT have the right to determine what that person is or is not allowed to be uncomfortable with. You do NOT have the right to have that person assume you meant what you said with the best intentions. You do NOT have the right to ban that person from thinking your comments, actions, or other behavior counts as “creepy”. (Sorry, Ogre, but that’s the way it is.)

    Is this message as bad as some of the other things we’ve shown on this site, such as threats of sexual assault or murder? No, of course not. But it’s not a healthy interaction either. BastingTub and the submitter were in one match together; that’s not a basis for much of anything, let alone “boyfriend and girlfriend”.

  • Anonymous

     ”You do NOT have the right to express your interest in ways that make
    that person uncomfortable. You do NOT have the right to determine what
    that person is or is not allowed to be uncomfortable with. You do NOT
    have the right to have that person assume you meant what you said with
    the best intentions. You do NOT have the right to ban that person from
    thinking your comments, actions, or other behavior counts as “creepy”.”

    Well said. Now, since you seem to be very sensitive to rights: what gives you the right to shame people that, objectively, didn’t do much?

    And, while you are right that asking out some girl he doesn’t know, and only had one online-match with, isn’t healthy, what damage was done exactly? Has he insulted her by doing that? I simply don’t see how that’d be insulting in any way, and I have been in such situations before too. He only made himself look silly, that’s as far as this went. Does that warrant being made fun of on the internet? Personally, I don’t think so. And

    What happened with that person is, or borders on, bullying. Making your previous argument sound absurdly hypocritical. On the one hand you are so aware, and so protective of the treatment, and rights of women, that even the smallest of negatives warrants shaming, on the other you have absolutely no problem disregarding someone’s dignity for the sake of comedy.

    Let the punishment fit the crime. This reeks of chopping someone’s head off for stealing an apple.

  • Anonymous

    “(Sorry, Ogre, but that’s the way it is.)”

    Haha, I don’t think you are sorry.

    And I don’t want to ban people from thinking things. I just want people to be more aware of the consequences of their actions (such as labeling– othering– someone as a creep and leaving it at that).  I want people to understand it’s a shitty thing to do, particularly when it’s done off-handedly.  Indeed, I don’t want to ban people from thinking thinks– instead, I want people to think more.  I want people to have empathy for other people.  I want people to treat others as humanely as they demand to be treated.

    And since you’ve got me started, I suppose I’ll keep going.

    “You do NOT have the right to express your interest in ways that make that person uncomfortable.”

    And how is one to know what will make a person uncomfortable?  People are different. That line moves constantly.  I believe what’s important is the intention of the person.  For example, people will say “god bless you” to me with a complete lack of interest on the fact that I’m an atheist.  While they’re being generally disrespectful for my own non-beliefs, I can appreciate that they’re intentions were not born of malevolence.

    Do you really believe that the offender intended to make the submitter uncomfortable?  Doesn’t a person have the right to make mistakes?  No one’s perfect, right?

    “ You do NOT have the right to determine what that person is or is not allowed to be uncomfortable with.”

    Do you really believe that?  Do you think it’s perfectly fine for people to be uncomfortable with mixed-race marriages?

    Also, I think you’re confusing “the right to determine” with “having an opinion about”.

    “You do NOT have the right to have that person assume you meant what you said with the best intentions.”

    Who’s forcing people to assume things?  How does one force another to assume things?  What are you responding to here?

  • Anonymous

    “Who’s forcing people to assume things?  How does one force another to assume things?  What are you responding to here?”

    I think he meant you cannot expect someone to give you the benefit of the doubt. Indirectly saying, that if someone assumes the worst of you, you have to accept that. Thereby justifying overreactions such as this, and the fact it’s posted here.

    However, you practically have to want malevolence to be there, to see any in something as trivial as “do you want to be boyfriend/girlfriend?”

  • Anonymous

    “I think he meant you cannot expect someone to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

    And that’s totally true in a purely objective sense.  Still, I think society, and the people within, would do better to give people the benefit of the doubt if there isn’t immediate danger.

    This reminds me of Elton John’s Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me.  It has the following ridiculous line, “Don’t discard me just because you think I mean you harm.”  If you could discard someone, I would always advise to discard the person you think means you harm. Heh.

    Still, if you have the ability give someone a second chance to demonstrate their lack of threat (without risking oneself), it would be the decent thing to do.

  • http://facebook.com/deathbydd DeathbyDD

    I like HUGGLEZ! Anyone else like HUGGLEZ? Lets all share a group HUGGLE!
    Sharing is Caring, afterall! ^_^_^_^

  • http://profiles.google.com/adamcaverhill Adam Rollstone

    This guy is 12.

  • http://facebook.com/deathbydd DeathbyDD

    If only.

  • My name is John

    LGS™

  • noxteryn

    I don’t see why this person had to be publicly shamed, and I find it alarming that so many people claim he was being sexist or creepy by asking that. I think it was cute, she could simply say “no” and move on. Nothing of what he said was either insulting or offending.

  • Frosty7

    Okay, I know this is very late to the party, but this one struck me–and hey, first time I’ve ever actually responded to something like this.

    This–and some of the other expressions of confusion as to why this one, which seems so inoffensive, is an object of ridicule on this site–strikes me as being one of the fundamental differences between the male and the female experience.

    Generally speaking, most men do not endure a constant stream of “Hey, baby” and other, far worse forms of catcalling, in the real world or elsewhere, simply because of their gender. “Marry me” is amusing and funny (and I’ve said it myself to people whose opinions I quite like), and the request to be Xbox bf/gf may very well have been in the same vein. “You are such an awesome player, please be my significant other.”

    However. This same kind of thing does cease to be funny/harmless when it comes as part of the endless streams of catcalling/harassment that many women have to put up with on a constant basis. It becomes one more in a litany of “I don’t really care about you, you’re only here as an object of MY desire and how dare you find that offensive, you should be flattered”.

    And the folks arguing for the “But how can you assume this person meant harm” are not wrong. Just as the people who say “But there is potentially something sexist/harmful here” are not wrong. It is difficult for someone who has never had to endure walking past a group of men and being catcalled at–with varying degrees of offensiveness/graphic-ness–to understand why even something that seems relatively harmless or minor can set off warning bells in another person’s head.

    It does all come down to the context of our own lives. I am a woman, and I am one of the fortunate and very few who does not endure crap like this on a regular basis. And so I, personally, would be more likely to laugh something like this off as entirely harmless. But I have endured just enough (getting grabbed, getting propositioned by a complete stranger–in real life, mind you–and getting called names)–and count among my beloved friends women who have endured the never-ending stream of it–to understand why something like this would make it onto a site like this. :)

  • Random Person

    He’s probably not the sort of perv who belongs here. Sounds like a twelve year old little boy to me.

    I’m kidding. Maybe. It kind of makes sense if you think about it… I don’t know, I’m liking my joke theory now. XD

  • Anonymous

    I’ve already said that I understand why this submission was posted at this blog in my initial response to LegendarySeacow. I can understand how this kind of message is unwelcome and how it can remind people of worse experiences.

    My sole problem with this is that the name is posted along with the submission. Instead of it just being an example of poor etiquette, it’s now bullying a kid for being socially under-developed.

    If your house has been broken into, it’s perfectly understandable why you might anxious about strangers looking at your house.. or even strange shadows at night. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to punish these strangers or shadows as if they robbed you as well.

    I can understand why these messages can upset people. That doesn’t justify outing this person for it.

    And while you’re trying to generate empathy for those who have to endure catcalling, please look at it from the other end. This socially awkward person tried to express his interest in a girl. Getting this kind of extreme backlash (assuming he’s aware of this post) is a good way of ensuring he won’t try expressing himself again. Which is, unless he’s very lucky, sentencing him to be alone forever.

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