Consider Me Notified

Something about the timestamps between the first two messages just adds a little something extra.

Does this guy really, seriously assume that a stranger wants to know that he came by looking at a picture of her???
Another man who doesn’t know the first thing about actual, real women. Sad.

Wow, I didn’t realize that until you pointed it out… 0_0 creepy

“If you weren’t so beautiful I wouldn’t have done it at all” So it’s your fault he’s a creeplord? Barf.

Wanking over someones picture without their permission and then telling them about it is basically a form of sexual abuse. Its exerting control over another person without their consent.

“Next time I’ll just keep it to myself lol”
…thank goodness for small favors, I guess?

 You’re a f*cking idiot mate.

pathatic, what is wrong with people. There is no dignity. 

 Let’s see if I can sum this up more eloquently then “Ezekiel” did.

Ahem.
UHDIFBBF535qe&@^^@%@%*@^*(@NdhbfshdbfdWHBs@Ndhbfshdbfd:disqus ^te7art6g8eyf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Done! :D

Actually, I think you’re on the right track, but I’d say it’s more a form of sexual “harassment” then abuse. No one is getting harmed, here, either mentally or physically. But there is definite harassment going on. If this had happened in the workplace, the guy would likely be fired, as opposed to being brought up on charges. At the very least, he’d be yelled at by the upper management.

I’m so glad its her fault for being too beautiful. Gods forbid someone other then a chick be at fault for a dude ‘losing control’ >_>

Harrassment is probably a better word, however how do you know no one is mentally harmed by this? Telling a stranger you wanked over their picture could emotionally distress them more than mildly. Its close to being the online version of a stranger masturbating to you while you’re sat on the subway. It removes the consent of the person being wanked over. It’s not like her profile picture was put there for this person to wank over.

I agree that this could more-than-mildly emotionally-distress someone.  The question is the then, do we cater to everyone who could be emotionally distressed by something?  Where do we choose to draw the line?  At a certain point, we all say something like, “I’m sorry that gay people distress you so much, but that’s your problem to deal with.”

Please, don’t confuse my words for being an apologist for the wanker– he is a shitty, selfish scumbag to be so disrespectful.  Still, any control exerted by the wanker, in this situation, is given by the victim.  The control is given by reacting the way the wanker would expect.  I see no reason to react to this situation with something more than, “Well, that was unpleasant, but now I have the rest of my life to live…”

I know it’s very easy to dwell on negative things, but we can choose not to.  And while that choice can be very hard to commit to, it’s still a choice which only benefits us in the long run.

 It’s disgusting, and I agree that he has no right to tell her that. But I agree with OgreJehosephatt that eventually, we have to draw a line somewhere, and we can’t always cater to those who might be offended by something. Which is why I consider this harassment, and not abuse.

Hello,

Interesting blog that you have here, and it makes me somewhat ashamed to be part of the male gaming crowd. I am mainly doing PC gaming though, so I’m not well-versed in how X-box live and such services function, but does it make it possible to leave messages on even your phone? In any case, that’s revolting behaviour, and I do hope it’s representative of a juvenile minority (though to be fair, I’ve seen and heard too much to believe it myself).

Is there no way to report these users?

Best regards
Björn

Thanks for agreeing, but your last sentence doesn’t sit well with me.  It seems like you’re saying that harassment is something that should always be shrugged off.  It’s one thing to keep random anonymous dickheads from getting to you– they’re no bodies. It’s another to try an endure harassment where you have to keep interacting with that harasser, like a work environment.

 Heya, Björn! There’s no reason to be ashamed. Dudes are GREAT! Its just that you great dudes need to be proactive in standing up to the adult-juveniles and sadists out there so their hateful behavior doesn’t reflect on your gender as a whole. You’re on the right track, I’d say! ^_^

 Work environment or online, harassment is hateful and shouldn’t be tolerated anywhere…even in trolling or ‘joking’. Its one thing to ‘feed the troll’ its a whole other for a community to be silent when harassment is happening to its members. Hateful behavior is often masked with jokes/trolling and is harmful to the healthy, positive atmosphere that everyone breaths. Be proactive! *nodnod*

I really hope the girl’s “gorgeous” pic was of her avatar!  That would be so funny.

I have an inkling that grown adults do it as often as juvies… which is both pathetic and sad.

We all pay to play so you can report any sort of negative behavior. Microsoft will ban a gamertag after numerous reports (not sure how many) but I’m pretty sure there’s not much stopping whomever was banned from simply creating a new gamertag and starting fresh. They do also ban entire IP addresses and consoles serial numbers as well.

I’m not sure how Sony handles it considering the basic PSN service is free.

Whether it harms or not, it’s fuckin gross and creepy to say that to a total stranger.

My question is what do these people expect to get out of it?? Was this guy really thinking that the chick was gonna respond with an “OMG, really?? That’s awesome! Let’s make out!”
umm no sir, it’s looney tunes ‘ish.

He probably won’t.

This was my post. I reported the guy after he continued to message me. To add insult to injury, he has a friend with the name Airbornes Wife on his list or something of that sort.

Thanks for sharing your experience! I hope you stick around.

I replied to this and I explained how I feel like I was kinda misrepresented. I added a link to it so it needed approval, but they don’t seem to be approving it. Lame.

Links have to be manually approved and sometimes we don’t get to it right away.

 I never said it’s something that should be shrugged off or ignored. I’m saying that it’s not comparable to sexual abuse.

 ”Whether it harms or not, it’s fuckin gross and creepy to say that to a total stranger.”

Oh absolutely. I’m glad the OP has reported it, and I hope MS deals with this creep appropriately. I just want a clear distinction to be made between sexual harassment (which is what this clearly is) and sexual abuse, which would be like rape or molestation. Both of which, most of us would probably agree, is quite a bit worse.

 I followed that Kotaku link. I hadn’t seen it before, since I left Kotaku right after the big commenting switch months ago, but I’m glad you inked it here. I loved Kotaku, but hated that whenever a female was featured somewhere in a photo (whether it was cosplay, an interview with a female developer, etc), she’d get judged endlessly on her appearance. Always. Never mind she wasn’t there to look sexy, or try and catch the eye of any man. Nope – she was either hot, as in, “dude id so do her’ or ugly, as in ‘eww lol is that a man? no tits’ (because as we all know, only women with DDs are good-looking).

*sigh*

I know.  The thing is that usually when I’ve got a pending comment, there’s a message at the top of the comments letting me know it.  This time there wasn’t a message so I figured it was lost or denied.  Thanks for getting to it.

I’m saying that it’s not comparable to sexual abuse.

Got it.  It was kind of a weird segue, so I wasn’t sure.  Also, since your post didn’t specify sexual abuse, I was consider all kinds of abuse, like “verbal” ‘n’ such.
Thanks for the clarification.

“…hated that whenever a female was featured somewhere in a photo, she’d get judged endlessly on her appearance.”

Yeah, it’s pretty obnoxious.  I try to fight the good fight.  I’d like to think that most of the people who do it just don’t understand how it affects others.  If they had some understanding, they wouldn’t do it– the trick is calling them out on it without them getting defensive.  I have not figured that one out yet.

 Nah, they don’t expect a positive reply. They expect to make the person they harass uncomfortable which I guess is a sadistic sort of high. I could be wrong, but I don’t really see what else the motivation could be.

 I don’t think I was disagreeing with you so much as adding my voice to your point. Way to go, dude! ^_^

 The mods always do a SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS job as far as I’ve seen, both with trolls and with approving relevant links! *high-five!* XD

Its not comparable to sexual assault, it IS comparable to sexual abuse. Being dogged around everywhere you go both on the web and irl takes a toll on any person.

PS: Read more of your posts and see that we are really just fussing over word-use. No biggie! ^_^

the ‘lol’ keeps it lighthearted.

 I am not sure if these guys are trying to have meaningful interactions with women or if they are just trying to harass them.

Sadly, some men do try to flirt with women by doing things like this.

And if his only goal was to harass…I honestly wonder what his motive was. what kind of response was he expecting, either way?

 Some people just want to watch the world squirm. >_>

Well, he has a point… Wait you have a windows phone? I thought I was the only one. awesome.