A Cordial Approach

At least he was polite lol

It’s almost weirder that he asks so politely.

Why would anyone want to watch a guy masterbate? O.o

 It can be hot. Although, he’s being very wishful that anyone would go on XboX to look for wankers when there’s Chatroulette. “But I want a GAMER GIRL to watch me wank!”

SUPER weird that he’s offering to do it for nothing in return.

Why don’t you ask the adult film industry…

I actually can’t fault this guy. He’s honest, pleasant, and courteous. Sure, his request is atypical, but he’s pretty mellow about it. I mean, if this was the standard for unusual sexual requests, I think we’d be a lot more amenable to them in general, don’t you?

 You might not be able to fault him too much, but as a man with a wonderful girlfriend who is also a gamer just like I am, I certainly can!-_-;;

Even if it’s in a courteous tone, the fact that he’s going around asking for sexual favors in a public gaming area speaks – pardon the forthcoming choice of word – “loads”, about his personality towards female gamers.

See, there are a lot of gaming guys out there.
And MORE than a few of them would REALLY LOVE to have a girlfriend who is into the same hobby that they are.
Few things make a gamer happier than falling in love with one of their own, so to speak.
But when guys like this march around asking for things like this from female gamers, instead of actually GETTING TO KNOW said girls, it puts forth this false image that ALL gaming guys are just looking for someone hot to leap into bed with after some immature-style wooing.

That’s not the kind of stigma that we few, WORTHWHILE, gaming guys want attached to us just by being the same gender as these mindless, sad little excuses for boys.
It’s hard enough to find someone who will take a gamer as a serious relationship candidate in the first place, sometimes!X_X

As a man who respects any and all gamers, both male and female, so long as they show the proper attitude towards their fellows, I implore the women of this site: PLEASE, do not let the ass hats of the male gaming community convince you that male gamers aren’t worth giving a shot, in romance or friendship, and don’t let them drive you into hiding who and what you are.

The good guys are out here, ladies.
And both while gaming and in the real world, we can show just as much respect to you as we can love, if you’re willing to tough it out, ignore the ass-hats and look for us.^_^

I got a lovely gamer girlfriend, and the one advice I can give you is:
Go look for them in real life, not in front of your television ;).

It’s a pretty sad state of the gaming community when asking a complete stranger for sexual favours is responded with at least he was nice about it.  Given there are sites already for things like that, it’s really uncalled for no matter how nice it’s said. 

@Eric Sellers: This kind of thing doesn’t keep those of us already into gaming away from dating gamers.  We want to date people with the same interests also.  What it does is limit the amount of girl gamers who are just starting to get interested in gaming and have to deal with this (and worse) nonsense. 

i think the women of this site are smart enough to realize that there are different kinds of guys that play games, lol. i don’t think they’re cowering behind their couches where the good guys can’t… rescue them with a headshot or whatever. after all girls can be flirty on games too… i guess it’s a bit like irl. tell a few jokes, don’t get your penis out and people will get along with you. :P

but in any case- the few times i’ve met hardcore girl gamers irl, or spoken to them online, my playing games has only been reacted to positively. 
however if the most interesting thing about a guy is that he’s a gamer i can see that being a little boring.

Oh, I know that most guys online are perfectly normal. I have plenty of male friends on my friends list who are cool, friendly and fun to play with. It’s a shame that idiots like this have to bring down the community a bit, but it hasn’t really worsened my experience at all. I just find this particular entry funnier then most because he came as it from a polite angle (although we can all agree it’s still dumb as heck), and that’s so….unique. 

…. Is it wrong that I just thought ‘What a polite asshole. I wonder if he’s a real person and not just some kind of bot.’

The thing is, even if you spend months & months chatting and playing games with a fellow male gamer, unless you’ve met him in real life – firstly, you still do not TRULY know what he’s like outside of video gaming and secondly, if you’re compatible.

That said, I have met some genuinely awesome guys on XBL.

Now that is customer service! Do you want this? If not, it’s cool

Hey, I am in full support of more courteous behavior in the gaming community. I think they way that some guys treat other guys is just as abominable as the way they treat the ladies.

But here’s the reality here; THIS guy may have picked a strange forum and had a strange request, but he was still polite about it. It’s kind of like approaching someone in coffee shop and saying, “Hey — don’t feel you need to say yes or anything, but would you like to have sex with me?”

Yeah, it’s a strange thing to do. But comparing it to the crude creeps who send messages like, “cn i put it in ur vag?” implies that you’re rejecting the sex, not the crudeness and objectification. Where a typical post on this site is generally banworthy, this one is more worthy of a response like, “No thanks. And hey, some people might be uncomfortable with that kind of request — you might want to find a more appropriate place for it.”

I realize that I am much more sex positive than the average person; it comes with being bisexual and non-monogamous. So I disagree with you that this guy is ruining the gaming experience for others; the politeness makes all the difference.

Am I the only one who heard that read in his head in the same voice The History Channel uses for those letters soldiers used to write home from the Civil War?

“My Dearest Clara,

We have been holding the ridge now for three days against the onslaught of the red team. Our officers remain upbeat and steadfast in the hope that reinforcements will arrive in time, but some of the men are beginning to show signs of strain. Only yesterday, Bob in ‘A’ Company began sending out desperate pleas to those of our compatriots of the fairer sex engaged in this good work. The rest of us have united in derision, but he persists like a man possessed. I fear for him when the enemy comes tonight.

I think of you often and look forward to the day when this match ends and we can once again queue together for Lumines without fear.

                Give love to all inquiring
friends, and believe me -
                         Ever Yours, xFir3catz93x”

 I actually met my girlfriend outside of video games. It’s just a stroke of luck that we both love video games.

 The politeness isn’t the issue, though; regardless of politeness, such a forward request from a stranger is inappropriate in this setting, even if it doesn’t bother the recipient due to the way the request is phrased and delivered.

 Well, yeah, I can agree with what you’ve said. I only put my post out there because I’ve had female friends who HAVE been turned away from gaming due to this sort of thing. A few of them had to deal with it in public, which was much more embarrassing for them.
I dunno, I guess I’ve just been witness to so many jerks in my life that it’s a natural reaction for me to speak out against such behavior at this point…

well i can understand people being turned away from online gaming, there really are a lot of dickheads. one of the reasons i’ve never been a big fan myself, unless my irl friends are playing.

Ok, well now I get to challenge you. :)

You seem pretty clear: The politeness is good, and it’s not relevant here if the recipient minds. You even go so far as to say this request is chivalrous. So it’s just the request — or, at minimum, the setting in which it was proffered – that you don’t approve of.

So let’s break it down in to those two things: the request, and the setting of the request.

What’s wrong with the request? One consenting party is asking another party to consent to some legal, sexual activity. It’s simple exhibitionism and voyeurism, and it’s not an uncommon type of fetish. Like most sexual behavior, it’s only illegal in public, which this is not (as xboxes are just about completely within private spaces; we can assume pretty safely no one is logging in to xbl from a public place). So if the behavior is acceptable (in private), is the complaint about the request itself, rather than its subject matter?

As for the setting of the request — is there a reason why XBL is any less appropriate than other forms of internet communication? I think we can ignore concerns about minors, as (I believe) the general consensus is that parents should be engaged with their children when they use unregulated content like online gaming. This was a private message until it was published here — if this had been on Craigslist or some other site more geared towards this sort of subject matter, would it have been more acceptable?

If nothing else, that sort of thing is actually against the XBL code of conduct. “Don’t distribute, post, publish, upload, disseminate or discuss
defamatory, infringing, obscene, sexual or unlawful materials in any
format (images, audio, video, text, etc.).” Now some of these points are debatably applicable in this case, but it’s still pretty clearly sexual material in text format, which seems enough to make it inappropriate to the medium.

Ah, that’s a very good point! Codes of conduct, while frequently overzealous, are generally binding. I do believe you can be banned for less on XBLA.

We could question Microsoft’s decision to particularly deject sexual content, but the reasoning is obvious (because so many gamers are so willing to be abusive to others with sexual content), and not everything is a democracy — they can make the rules as arbitrarily as they like.

I would, however, still contend that we should always consider why it is we have distaste for the things we think are wrong. :)

Much agreed. This creep has zero business posting a message like this through this kind of forum.  I’m sure there are more then a few sites where this would be much more appropriate. And where he can be certain that the girls are 18 or over.

I’m curious about the prevalence of these types of things in computer games (vs console). I am male so I am probably shielded from such things but I had no idea stuff like this was so common. I play almost entirely on the computer and spend my time in games like SC2, D3, etc.. The FPS environment just seems a lot less mature.. >.>

 Thats the BEST! XD

“Hello there ma’am” and “no problem” really cinches this.

He probably has a big Dick  thats why hes offering im just saying guy offers me a big dick im taking it ;)

d.p.

I think you’ll find that most guys severely over-represent their goods.

I’m sorry, but who appointed you the bi spokesperson?  You don’t speak for the rest of us. 

And yes, hitting up a random stranger for sex online is exactly like hitting up a random stranger for sex IRL: no matter how “sex-positive” you are, if you are not 100% certain the person you are approaching will be okay with that, YOU DON’T DO IT.

“…if you are not 100% certain the person you are approaching will be okay with that, YOU DON’T DO IT. ”

Not that I necessarily disagree, but I would like to hear your reason why this is.

Just saw this response now.

Never claimed to be a spokesperson for bisexuals. Also note that I mentioned I’m non monogamous too, and I don’t claim to speak for all of them either. But I am aware that belonging to those groups informs the rest of my behavior.

You also can’t be 100% certain anyone will ever be okay with being approached for sex; that’s a silly demand. There are absolutely more and less appropriate forums to approach people; Bars are more appropriate, work is less appropriate, for example. It doesn’t mean its always appropriate or always wrong.