Beauty is in the Eye of the Author: Poetry Contest!

The Prawn Star‘s use of such an effective literary device has motivated our first poetry slam. We encourage everyone to seek inspiration below, and then re-imagine this famous work, as written in the style of The Prawn Star.

Please leave your creations in the comments below. (Idea: Feeling dramatic? Perform your reading for Youtube and post the link!) Deadline is end-of-day Pacific time, Tuesday, October 11th. Secret prize to be announced, but trust us, it’s awesome. Questions?

“I was playing search and destroy on MW2 with my friend and I went 12-2. After the game I received these messages one after the other without replying to him.”

The Prawn Star

  • Karissa Jean

    Oh my God, *poetry*! PrawnStar certainly left me feeling inspired:

    Cunt, cunt, cunt,
    On mine keyboard I must type!
    Insults to an anonymous voice
    Sounding strangely like a ‘she.’

    Oh for my headset strapped too tight,
    That cuts off the blood to my small brain!
    Oh for my high-speed internet,
    That allows access to show disdain!

    And the insults do still spew
    Out from my foul and pre-teened mouth;
    Oh for the touch of a fat, slutty girl
    And the sound of a voice that agrees!

    Cunt, cunt, cunt
    The disconnect message I see!
    And now there are no girls on the internet
    Would anyone still date me?

  • JustPlainSomething

    Waaaait a second… that’s not a haiku!

  • Anonymous

    Disclaimer: Everything said in the poem below is written in a comedic matter. If you take offence to said poem after reading this disclaimer can post any comments on my website, Anyone who doesn’t read this before reading my poem even though this disclaimer is above the poem, I have one sentence to say to you; Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries! Now for my poem! 

    Hark! What do mine ears hear?
    Is that a female’s voice in my ear?
    It could be a young boy, I could be wrong,
    I child whose voice is yet where it belong.

    I tease and I poke,I call names and provoke,
    Fat, Ugly and Slutty,You must be a joke!
    For there are no women on the internet,
    Play in peace? That is something you can just forget.

    Sexual humor and crude jokes,
    Giving you something on which to choke,
    Even training Raptors to attack your throat,
    I’ll keep this up until my head smokes.

    All in all I’m just sad, scared, and/or mad.
    Because you remind me of something I don’t have.
    If it be happiness, mad skillz, or a wife,
    Really though, I just need to get a life.

    (It’s not my best work although it only took me like 5 minutes to write. Hope someone laughs as much as I did writing it. Enjoy.)

  • William Clarke

    Sorry…what was that again, I think I missed it?

  • Iggy

    @ Karissa I killed myself laughing. XD

  • JustPlainSomething

    An Ode to X-Box Live
    By: Katie Schenkel

    Being quite blunt,
    I love to affront
    Although I’m a runt
    So I’ll pull a stunt
    In my mom’s base…munt.

    …Rhyming is toughed
    So shut up, cunt!

  • Joel Atkinson

    Here’s one of The Prawn Star’s lesser known haiku:

    Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt,
    Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt,
    Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt

  • Jon Rosebaugh

    Oh, come on; at least try for a tanka.

  • Anonymous

    Do I have to use the word “cunt”? It’d be a rather pornographic poem if that’s the case…

    Shoot, shoot, shoot,
    at my head and through my heart, O gamer!
    if i weren’t suffering from motion sickness
    i would say congratulations sooner.

    O well for thy gamerscore,
    that it increases even more!
    O well for thy mates,
    that they realize thou art hardcore!

    And you walk away in triumph
    just in time for me to catch a glimpse of your footsteps;
    but every other “Con” takes place in Seattle,
    making saying hi to you in person an impossible concept.

    Shoot, shoot, shoot
    the bullets have shattered my heart, O gamer!
    but amongst the high-five’s and cheers
    would you even notice this loser?

  • That Guys

    I’m now world famous for something I said
    But I’ve been misinterpreted
    So I won’t C U next Tuesday?

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