It’s not me, it’s you

Channelling his hurt in the best way his young heart can manage, JimmyBoyz96 takes care to make his feelings about video-game-friend-rejection very clear.

“I beat this kid by a mile and he goes “i gtg lol add me for l8r ?” I’m like “lol i dont add losers” He responds with this.”

JimmyBoyz96

  • Anonymous

    YOU SHOW THATLEVEL 8 THE RESPECT HE DESERVES NOOB

  • Anonymous

    I know I’m going to get hated on for this but for the first time on this site I can see why he might have got upset. At first he wasn’t rude or offensive it seems(I have no idea about in-game). If I would have gotten a message like that back from another person I wouldn’t have handled it like he did(in which I believe him wrong) but I would have been upset. Finding someone better than you to play against would make you better. If he knew if this was a girl or not is unknown but it could have been handled better on both ends of the conversation. That’s my opinion. Flame me if you want. Frankly I don’t give a damn.

  • http://twitter.com/JonyeWest Jonathan Zamborsky

    I’m going to have to agree with Onyx. While I don’t condone or excuse the CONTENT of what his response was, I can see why he would’ve been miffed.

  • http://everydaygoddess.typepad.com/ lizriz

    But isn’t the whole point that when miffed, that’s where he went? So if a female player is aggressive and rude THEN it’s OK to pile on with the sexual stuff?

  • http://twitter.com/_gtz_ gtz

    I usually make an effort to stay out of comment discussions, because I like them to be somewhat organic. But I knew this one would be controversial, so I wanna acknowledge that.

    I fully expect people will disagree with this (and others) that get posted on here, but I think that the disagreement in the comments that arises is all part of FUoS. :) Feel free to tell us we suck, just try and be more eloquent than the messages we’re posting. ;)

  • Anonymous

    Almost every post on this site shows the reaction of the attacker after a loss or a rejected friend request or whatever. I’ve have yet to see anything that justifies the reaction of any posts so far(including this one) but I can see where this guy has a reason to get a little pissed. It’s one thing to get a friend request rejected but add on a message such as this one and the “victim” is just asking for such a reply back.(yet again, I repeat, I am not condoning what this guy replied back with) That’s how this post is different(to me) than the others.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Happyhansha Brannon Sherry

    I agree with Onyx72. As rude as this kid was, in internet terms he was being his version of being polite at the beginning. I think there’s a big difference between a guy being totally gross and rude to a woman just because she’s a woman and a guy being totally gross and rude in the context of the other person being rude.

    To be honest, I’ve played female characters online for years (I’m transgendered) and have received a lot of uninvited rudeness; it’s the main reason I read this site. I’ve had guys say every rude, disgusting, sexual suggestion/temper tantrum for not getting the response they want you can think of. I’ve had guys be totally rude to my friends for no other reason than just because they were women so they didn’t care what they thought. I’m certainly likely to think that a guy doing anything like that is not okay. All of that being said, just being a woman doesn’t make you exempt from what happens when you’re rude to someone else or you decide to taunt another player. In this case, our poster was given a contextually polite request, responded by being rude and was given a rude response back.

    Also, I’m pretty sure that I’ve known my male friends online to receive responses like this when they’re rude to other men. I’m not convinced that the sexual content was even sexual because JimmyBoyz96 thought our poster was female; he could have just been being rude.

    As I read this site, you’ll find that I’ll usually agree with the poster. This time however, I just can’t. In my own experience and with friends, women are more than capable enough to take harsh responses. If they’re undeserved and just outright sexist, that’s not okay; if they’re in the context of being rude then they should be able to handle them. Gross or not, this one may have been deserved.

  • Anonymous

    In my opinion no one “sucks” here. The “attacker” still disrespected the “victim” (I should just start using quotes on every word…..) by his reply but the blame can’t all be put on him like posts before. His reaction was over the top for sure but I wouldn’t let something like that slide if it was me.

    I have to say the site is amazing and I really enjoy coming here to see what has been posted next. Keep doing what you’re doing. :)

  • http://twitter.com/GAR1021 G.A.R.

    all that matters is that your ‘pussi’ is whole and not fragmented or broken. i say you walk away with a win.

  • Dayne

    When did this other language (I like to call it txtspk) offshoot from English? I feel like I need to paste this into google translate.

  • Anonymous

    It is somewhat hard to read. I would usually say something about the grammar usage but didn’t feel like being a Grammar Nazi today.

  • http://profiles.google.com/kouneriasu Michael Cornelius

    No, everyone in this case sucks.

    The reporter sucks for failing to have the class to be a gracious winner. The reporter is under no obligation to add JB96, of course, but taunting is petty.

    JimmyBoyz96 sucks for being unable to continue to be a gracious loser in the face of an ungracious winner.

  • Dayne

    If it is indeed another language, then English grammar rules don’t apply.

  • Anonymous

    I’m not convinced that the sexual content was even sexual because JimmyBoyz96 thought our poster was female; he could have just been being rude.

    Hm, I’d argue that it’s still pretty misogynistic to use “bitch,” “pussy,” and “suck my dick” (okay, that last one can be homophobic instead) as your go-to insults, though.

  • http://anex-unnecessaryblogage.blogspot.com/ Anex

    I have to say I agree actually. There’s no reason to be rude if he wasn’t rude in the first place.. not sure how I feel about provoking other people and it ending up here :/

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, I don’t think this is an example of sexism. I’ll say incredibly similar stuff if a dude soundly beats me and then arrogantly rejects a friendly gesture. Hell, I’ll say stuff like that when the computer beats me! I think most of the time, cussing is just cussing.

    If I call someone a “son of a bitch”, I’m not thinking of that person’s mother and how dog-like she must be, I’m just trying to say, “Hey, I want to offend you!”.

    If I exclaim, “Jesus Christ!” or “Goddamnit”, it has nothing to do with religion– it’s just something to exclaim.

    When I call someone a “dick”, I’m not thinking of the male organ, nor when I hear someone being called that, do I feel that they’re trying to create a culture of shame for an integral part of me.

    In the heat of a game, I’ll even say typically sexist stuff and accuse friends of having vaginas, not because being a woman would be bad, but it questions their ever-so-precious masculinity, which houses their self-esteem.

    By a similar token, some of the most potent (and hilarious) smack-talk is when a girl tells a guy that her dick is bigger than his. It’s not about ranking gender, it’s about taking away someone’s gender to rile them and have fun.

    All that said, I think there’s a big difference between friendly smack-talk, and bullying. Personally, I’ll hold back on the smack-talk until I get a feel for the room and a sense of how far one should go. Some people are pretty sensitive to that kind of thing and I don’t want anyone to not have fun.”

    But when people actively discriminate against other folk for gender or race or what have you, then I think that’s totally fucked up. And it’s because of the bullying problem that I hear women face that makes me glad for this website. I think this raises the awareness of the problem in a fun way and without being preachy or scolding.

    Which is why I feel this post misses the mark. I’m not going to JimmyBoyz was right in responding the way he did, but I’ll say he wasn’t wrong either. Not sure what that makes him.. neutral, perhaps? Anyways, this post could mark the start of a transition between an effort for all gamers to come together harmoniously, and adding an opposing girl-gamer-bullies side.

  • Anonymous

    I also find the “lmao” on the end intriguing. It suggests he was having fun with his counter-fuck-you, rather than raging out and trying to hurt someone.

  • http://twitter.com/_gtz_ gtz

    Yeah, I don’t think this is an example of sexism.

    Just as a reminder, if we posted stuff that was ONLY sexism, we wouldn’t have everyone’s favourite here. I, for one, would not want to live in such a world.

  • http://twitter.com/SodapopGatts Jen

    Spelling, kids. It’s not that hard to spell properly.

    I think both people were rude. Of course the guy has to bring the whole :suck my dick” thing into the conversation. Always classy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/trimurph Tristan Murphy

    Does every post have to be a political statement about gender equality? I think some of us need to reread the “About” section of this website. I, for one, found this quite amusing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000363410260 Ali Buchanan

    I’m actually going to agree with you. She started it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_26JF24YUJVHPQZCJ7D7MLWO76E Jesse

    you girls sure do bring out the charmers!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_R3UQBDRT2CJG736RMG4DH7LAFQ RYU

    Sorry, that “unprovoked rage” tag is wrong. He clearly was provoked by her.

  • http://twitter.com/_gtz_ gtz

    Hey you’re right. Regardless of the appropriateness/proportion of the response, it’s not UNprovoked. Removed! Thanks!

  • http://kurosmurfen.blogspot.com/ Jean

    Agree on that. I think unprovoed flame is fun on this side, but this wasnt unprovoced at all- even if he might “over kill it” a bit.

  • http://kurosmurfen.blogspot.com/ Jean

    Thing is, Im a irlgamer- dont like the “agresive” tone that so many boys think i need to be able to handle if i play a game. I dont like it, then i dont “play by that rule”. If im rude, im ok with people being rude to me…u get it? If someones starts to be rude- i choose to be rude back or just ignore it. I would never choose to start to be the rude one if I dont like the dirt-talk back. So yeah, she alls him looser and we all think for sure the dirt-talker is a boy- ould be a girl? Who knows. Give rude, get rude back. Cant give rude and then cry about it…

  • http://twitter.com/Sidianblade Cassidian J.

    I think it’s understandable that he was angry after a rude comment like that. I don’t condone outbursts of raage like his, but it is hypocritical of the submitter to expect someone to be gracious after saying something like that.

    It doesn’t remove the sexist element from what he’s saying, though. Spelling aside, he’s using ‘bitch’ and ‘pussy hole’ as insults. It’s clearly derogatory language against women in particular. I hear what other comments are saying about the way these sorts of insults are often thrown against men too, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less sexist, as ‘pussy hole’ in particular insinuates that to have anything to do with a vagina is deplorable.

    It’s worth noting that there aren’t many widely-used insults that have to do with being a guy – what do we have? Dick? Cock? Bastard has to do with your mother, so again it’s focused on the woman – so maybe this is as much an example of the sexism in language as anything else.

  • Anonymous

    The “about” says this site is here to expose ugly behavior towards women, and it talks about choosing to find stuff funny rather than offensive. It’s more specific than just posting hilariously offensive trash talk.

    I also find the above exchange very funny, I just don’t feel like it fits here at this website. I think it’s even worse that JB’s minor faux pas is immortalized. I feel that for something like this, where it isn’t gender-based bullying, the names should at least be omitted.

  • Anonymous

    Heh. I never seen that one before. Yeah, I’m better off for having been exposed to it. Maybe the sexism-less hate can have a little side place on the site… Or maybe have an Honorable Mention tag. And edit out their names.

    I know I’m pretty new to the site, but I adore it and I think it can do a lot of good if we walk the high road. I just hope that you and the other folks here agree.

  • Anonymous

    I was replying to gtz’s comment with what I said about nobody sucking. When you say everyone, it seems to me you’re making a pretty bold statement. Not only are you talking about the two associated with this post but you’re also including the creators of the site as well as all the visitors. Proper wording can keep these assumptions from happening in the future.

    EDIT: Fixed a brain-fart moment. >.>

  • Anonymous

    I do have to wonder….if any of the guys here were confronted with constant nasty/negative comments directed at them due to their sex would they be able to stay placid and not say anything back?

    Would they be able to not be a bit guarded and even a bit rude to strangers they encountered while gaming because of the overwhelmingly negative interaction they had with almost all the players they played against?

    Sure there would be players that you had good experiences with but imagine those were a minority and most of them would verbally abuse you, threaten you with violence, or demand sex from you without your encourgaing the player in any way. You would have people leave threatening messages or sexual messages just because you played a game against them.

    I have to wonder if all these men pointing out how rude the OP was so that she got a response like this…would be able to be so placid and just “take the abuse” from so many players and remain positive and friendly to other players every time they gamed.

    Also: Actually what she said to the guy is what a LOT of men say to one another in the same situation. He just decided to make it a really negative comment back directed at her gender to make himself feel less butthurt which is bad on him.

  • Anonymous

    I can accept the premise that the poster has suffered so much misogynistic abuse that she’s lost the ability to be civil. Given the premise, I can see how the poster would be deserving of empathy. However, no matter how understandable the existence of her dickishness is, JB96 doesn’t deserve to be on the bad end of it.

    Now, no one here is actually condemning the poster either. No one says she’s a terrible person, only that she provoked the response she got. She’s not the one that needs to be defended.

  • Anonymous

    Be afraid, be very afraid, the lvl 8 will pwn from above

  • Anonymous

    Was the reply childish, immature and vulgar? Yes. But frankly, the girl in this instance brought it on herself. The kid, by her own story, was cordial until she called him a loser and told him to take a walk. At that point, male or female, you can’t be surprised at whatever comes your way in reply. If you’re going to act the bitch, expect to be treated as such. Can’t have your cake and eat it too.

  • Anonymous

    “I do have to wonder….if any of the guys here were confronted with constant nasty/negative comments directed at them due to their sex would they be able to stay placid and not say anything back?”

    Entirely invalid. People are individuals. The “bad guy” in this instance was civil until the “girl victim” got insulting. I would have thought someone who was suffering a “constant” barrage of nasty comments would have been relieved and glad to find a civil, if simple, person… but no, they had to get down in the mud and start treating a supposedly nice person the way she’d been treated in the past. That’s not understandable, that’s dysfunctional. And yes, it happens to men too, and they get called on it just the same.

    Frankly, if I beat the snot out of somebody in a game and they said “lol gtg add me for later?” I would have been glad to do so, thinking I’d actually found someone who wasn’t a sore loser – a rare thing as to which this site can attest.

  • http://twitter.com/beidero Vegard Beider

    “It’s worth noting that there aren’t many widely-used insults that have to do with being a guy – what do we have? Dick? Cock? Bastard has to do with your mother, so again it’s focused on the woman – so maybe this is as much an example of the sexism in language as anything else. ”

    Bastard, Motherfucker, etc… all relate to the mother yes, but you have to remember that we have a culture where the mother is seen as the main parent for any child. In most countries the father is not recognized before the mother approves him as the father or if they are married when the child is born. And mothers are regarded as the one with the “rights” to children during divorces most of the time.

    It has been this way for most of history as well, as such most insults that question your lineage relates to the mother because she is the important parent and the one that can be proven 100% as your parent. Bastard kind of relates to your father as well though, saying that either the father you see as your father (ie. married to your mother) is not your father, or that your father is some random guy.

    There are also plenty of insults relating to being a guy, just like there are insults related to female organs (mostly used against guys to question their masculinity). The lack of balls for instance is often brought up as an insult. Dick is used in multiple ways, either as a direct insult or to question the size of the other persons dick.

    But then again, people will read what they want into insults. Personally I don’t find motherfucker or bastard to be particularly offensive towards women, as it is the only logical parent to insult given how our society view parents.

    But then again I don’t really think bitch, cunt, dick, pussy, etc… are particularly offensive to either gender in themselves, it depends more on how they are used. Calling a guy a pussy or bitch is like onyx stated before about insulting his masculinity rather than regarding women as lesser people.

  • Anonymous

    Interesting, but I think it’s disingenuous to imply that an paternal-based insult is less potent because people couldn’t prove that the guy who provided for a person (and the person’s mother) is the biological father.

    It seems more like that gender-base insults are more of a legacy of a culture that was really into gender roles. As you say, the mother nurtured and raised the son… as expected. The father’s role was one of provider and protector. It is assumed that the father can defend his own honor, but it’s the role of the male family members to defend the honor of the female family members. Furthermore, I’m sure it was seen as particularly heinous since the women-folk couldn’t defend themselves (since society wouldn’t allow it).

    Still, whatever the origin, I agree that the use of these female-centric insults are only indicative of our linguistic past and not necessarily of current sexism.

    “onyx stated before about insulting his masculinity rather than regarding women as lesser people.”

    Did he?

  • Anonymous

    Please capitalize my name when you use it…Thank you. :P

  • Anonymous

    Very well said. I was planning to reply to Blackbirdwa’s message but have decided against it since someone else has close to the same view as myself. Great reply.

    /Like

  • Anonymous

    A woman is mildly rude so she deserve to have misogynistic insults thrown at her. Good to know.

  • Anonymous

    Not sure where you get this information. Sure, no one deserves to have insults thrown at them if they’re unprovoked but she clearly provokes him. He might have went a little overboard but otherwi……wait a second…..TROLL!!!!!!!

  • Anonymous

    I’m actually very cool with insults being thrown around. They can be hilarious! But when they become sexist or racist or homophobic, the funny is gone. No one deserves to be put down because of they’re a woman, or a POC, or gay or whatever. And let’s be real, calling anyone a bitch or pussy hole is pretty sexist.

  • Anonymous

    I’m actually opposed to insults being thrown around unless everyone knows that it’s in a joking manner and everyone means for it to be as well. Things can be taken the same way many times over but when there’s a change in context, that’s when things get ugly. A guy calling a guy a pussy means he’s weak, a guy calling a girl a pussy is(most of the time) sexist, and a girl calling a guy a pussy….that’s just funny. Same thing with being called gay, etc, etc. It’s all context that dictates the direction the insult is taken. Even that is different from person to person.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MX6BBSWIJDHGZPTHVE3IUEWOCI Chris O

    JimmyBoyz96 makes Alec Baldwin look tranquil.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4N6OKSYOKRZKMIKLYI52KGDVFQ AnnieMac

    Yeah, old discussion but I agree that this one was provoked. But we can still have a laugh at the unoriginality, right?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WE6CLF3UBD6GNINKJFT553F3TI waru

    I just felt like reminding you that “accusing friends of having vaginas” works as an insult -because- being a woman is seen as bad. And even if you yourself wouldn’t mind being called a pussy, you still reinforce that kind of thinking in your friends.

    Same with “son of a bitch”. You reinforce the thinking that someone should be ashamed for being the son of a mother that’s promiscuous. Why?

  • Anonymous

    In my post which you’re referencing, I acknowledged that many of these understandably seem sexist on the surface, but I went to explain that they weren’t. The way many use these words, the meanings have evolved to the point that they’re homonyms. If I call someone a “bitch”, I mean that they’re a whiny crybaby* and/or that they’re a lesser person than me with an implied subservience. I’m not trying to call someone a female dog. I make no connection between those things when I use it as an insult. Even when a woman is called a bitch, I see it as just a feminine form of “dick”… basically just saying the woman is a jerk.

    I am aware, however, not everyone picks up on the nuances of these uses. So, I do try to prevent incidental reinforcement of sexist attitudes by keeping such banter between my friends and other folks who understand the subtleties of it.

    Unless you’re also offended by the term “pussy cat”, I’m sure you can understand what I’m saying.

  • Anonymous

    *Does this imply I hate babies too?

  • Lorenzo Batallones

    Best part is? Since he’s one of those people who puts their birth year in their handle (well, I’m making a pretty safe assumption here), he must be 15. :V

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