Do Something Useful

So this morning we noticed our project had gotten a great deal of attention from Reddit. We just wanted to say thanks for checking out our site and sharing your views. We knew going into this it would be a controversial subject and love hearing everyone’s perspective. Thanks so much Redditors, and we’re working hard on getting the site working better for all the incoming traffic. Special thanks to our webhost NearlyFreeSpeech.net and fellow gamer Jon for helping us get the site optimized this morning.

Now, this is what you’re really here for.

Xbox Live player Ars Moriendii has taken time out of their incredibly busy day spent playing video games to offer a suggestion on what someone else should do with their time.

Ars Moriendii

  • http://sexologicalblog.com Michelle

    I am so glad to see you getting attention for your site. It’s definitely time to call sexist video game assholes out on their shit.

  • Roddy

    Of course if you can’t handle being exposed to sexism, you prove it right.

  • d367ruc70

    I game with one of my friends on ps3 and she doesn’t get any trouble, but she’s not good at COD. If she was, she’d definitely receive a lot of grief

  • Chris

    I hope Ars doesn’t speak like that to his mother when she takes the controller cause he didn’t clean his room.

    Awesome site! I’ll be checking back daily!

  • http://www.gamergrrlz.net Holly

    “Of course if you can’t handle being exposed to sexism, you prove it right.” Oh, so if we don’t put up with it, that means everything they’re saying is right? I’d cry “logic fail” if your comment wasn’t so transparently and self servingly designed to preserve the status quo. You know, the one the rewards YOU for acting like a prick.

  • http://2old2play.com El Jon O

    This kind of childish bs is exactly why I joined 2old2play.com It doesn’t remove all the sexist assholes, but it cuts it down immensely. I joined to escape the kids with foul mouths and screamy voices. 25 and older gamers only. ;)

  • alex

    wow this is so messed up im a boy and i would never say this stuff..men are nothing w/o women

  • Xero

    Why let it bother you? Why not just report/mute the offending person and continue on with your game? If you let immaturity bother you in a setting where you’re supposed to be relaxing and having fun, you’re going to have trouble in the real world. The fact is that people are stupid in general. Ignore them and go on about your business and they’ll keep doing their idiotic thing while they’re forever alone.

  • Scott

    Xero: Or we could ridicule them openly and publicly, as they deserve to be.

    When an adult social animal sees an immature animal doing something harmful, they correct it.

  • http://www.gamergrrlz.net Holly

    Exactly, Scott. “Don’t let it bother you” may be good advice on the surface, attempting to take away the power of their words, but on the whole it just places the blame on the offended person to “stop being so sensitive”…when really we should be calling out assholes for being assholes.

  • Wong

    I found this site via Reddit. I have been gaming with women for years and i knew it got bad, but sometimes it can truly hurtful. I’m glad to find an outlet like this to call out gamers of this nature. I’ve been subject to immense racism while gaming, and it’s forced me to turn off all in-game voice communication and ignore all text. Services like Ventrillo (PC) and Party Chat(XBox) have completely revolutionized my gaming experience.

    Keep up the good work! Game on. :)

  • Amoebic

    If finding humor in the disturbing behaviour of others is “letting it bother you,” then I let People of Walmart bother me into giggles on a regular basis : )

    Chances are, if they game like I do, then they DO ignore/report with vigor, so that kind of suggestion is moot.

    These ladies aren’t shrinking violets having issues dealing with real-world confrontations, so suggesting that this kind of outlet is symptomatic of that is disingenuous. I could be wrong, but perhaps it’s more of an attempt to take the behaviour out of context to highlight how silly and ridiculous (among other things) it may be.

  • Anna

    Definitely agree – I’m an epic noob at cod so haven’t gotten much strife, and I also don’t have a very feminine name/gamertag (precisely to avoid this kind of BS) but now I’m thinking I’ll be proud about who I am and just see if any shit floats to the surface. This site actually encourages me to be ‘out of the closet’ as a female gamer so I can call out and expose all these assholes. Win for the c&@t brigade ;-)

    P.S. Apologies if the word offends anyone else, I’m in the process of reclaiming it for us ladyfolk!

  • Anna

    P.S. How do I make myself come up as having an account w a photo etc?? I intend to make this site a regular haunt.

  • AlexISaLoser

    Lol. This kind of attitude is why there are so many (forever alone) guys out there. You idolize women and that is way worse than sexism. You demean them by holding them up to unrealistic standards and denegrade yourself and what you can accomplish AND make obscene sexist statements about the male gender being nothing without women. Without women what would men be? Men. Also these little feminist wannabe’s make you feel bad about being a man, that is why I hate feminists because they just turn the hate right around back on the haters. Thus becoming sexist haters themselves.

  • Ryan

    how is this feminism? (if that is what you’re implying) They’re perfectly happy to post commentary by general asshats being asshats.

    Obviously one shouldn’t tip the scale and go all ‘silver platter’ either. But i would like to hope chivalry is not completely dead.

  • http://www.gamergrrlz.net Holly

    “that is why I hate feminists because they just turn the hate right around back on the haters. Thus becoming sexist haters themselves.”

    Oh really? ‘Cause it sounds like you’ve never met a feminist in your life, and instead (much like the people you whine about), are just making prejudiced assumptions. Self serving ones, I’ll point out. Everyone attacks feminism because 1. everyone else does 2. they feel threatened by it. Most anti feminist bashers are people are people who just regurgitate what everyone else says about it, without actually talking to real feminists.

  • scythale

    I just wanted to say thank you for this site and keep up the good work, this is a great idea.

    Now get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich !

  • Amoebic

    This is a WordPress site, so it uses the Gravatar image system. Just go to the Gravatar site and register there with the same email as you did here to comment. It takes some time for it to update, but clear your cache, be patient, and it’ll show up eventually. Good luck!

  • Xero

    I was simply offering a solution that would give the offender less enjoyment, but if you prefer to give them more spotlight and allow more people to see it who will then in turn perform alike just to get a rise out of people, who am I to stop you. I was placing no blame anywhere, but the swiftest and easiest solution is to just ignore them and carry on. Not put a spotlight on them so others who find such activities amusing will also partake.

  • Terenas

    “The fact is that people are stupid in general. Ignore them and go on about your business”

    The point of this (article? blog? post? not sure what this is.) is that this type of harassment is something women deal with in addition to all the stupidity men deal with. they shouldn’t have to. It’s not the harassed responsibility to suck it up and enjoy gaming anyway. It (should be) the harassers responsibility to not harass people.

  • http://sexologicalblog.com michelle

    You know, I’m not really sure that sexism works that way. Maybe the bully in elementary school, but not misogyny.

  • lotters

    if you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen, I am no sexist, but in this case, stay in the kitchen. Why continue to abuse yourself? You are giving reasons to people who want to forbid women doing things as simple as playing games, from holding women back. Stop complaining, suck it up, or stop playing. You know the abuse won’t stop. So stop. Don’t ruin it for other women who don’t get abused.

  • Brian

    Women get away with sexism all the time in real life, so frankly, I don’t care if a few imbeciles decide to throw out obscenities. I get called the N-Word and other shit like that way I play, but I just mute them or kick their muthafuckin ass in the game.

  • Brian

    It’s likely that the boys (or men?) who act like this online do it simply for attention or maybe they get treated like shit in real life by women. My guess is that it’s often the latter. It’s definitely not a one-sided issue.

  • http://gamingdrunk.com Brett

    Posted about your site as well. Great site design and posting these messages is great as it really shows the amount of idiots that people have to deal with just to have the ability to play against humans. Many older gamers I know have now just gone purely into offline gaming due to these problems, both women and men.

    A little site optimization advice if you haven’t done it already, optimize all your images to lower their size either through an open-source image manipulation program like Gimp or use a free site like imageoptimizer.net . It appears your already using apache 2′s deflate functionality which was my second tip. Other than that, maybe trying to minify and aggregate your JavaScript files.

  • Jo

    …. What?!

    People doing things like forbidding women to do activities have a much grander problem, and that’s an entirely separate deal. Nobody should control anyone else’s life like that, regardless of gender.

    How the hell are things supposed to get better if we just shrug it off and say “yeah, I figure it’s best if we just stop playing because there’s an asshole over there”.

    How is that any better than the jerk who tries to control someone’s life by telling them what they can or can’t do? By just throwing in the towel we are letting assholes tell us what to do.

  • Jo

    I agree there’s a double standard in sexism, but two wrongs don’t make a right. I personally don’t call men any sexist names, or make sexist assumptions about them, and if I do and someone tells me, I retract my comment. So if I do my best not to be a sexist (or racist) asshole, I deserve to be trolled and told I should show my tits?

    I would also venture to say that sexist men comments are not as severe nor are they as oppressive in nature. I don’t often hear someone shouting at a man to “get in the kitchen, bitch, and make me a sandwich”. Nor do I see messages saying “show me your cock, slut”. But by all means, if you do have these sent to you, submit them to the site. The owners have said it’s not for women only.

  • Jo

    Er rereading that I would like to correct something:

    “sexist men comments are more likely to not be as severe, nor are they as likely to be oppressive in nature”.

    I’m sure these comments occur, but I doubt they are as widespread.

  • Alasdair

    I’m a man, and a gamer, and I think this blog is brilliant. I can’t say I’ve ever been the subject of comments like this myself, but then things are different for women on the Internet. From what I understand from my female friends, this blog is long overdue.

  • Peter

    LOL. Great site and great job outing these little tweens (real men don’t treat or think of women in this way). Keep up the good work!

  • Fiya

    Honestly, This is exactly the shit, that makes these immature little bastards pull shit like this, Feeding the trolls is exactly what they want, I’m 17, I’m still a virgin “By choice” because I have self control, Something that men my age lack, in an increasingly alarming percentile.
    The only way to get rid of bull like this, is to ignore it. Both my sister, and my girlfriend game. Yea, they get shit all the time, if you ignore it, it tends to go away, because people realize it doesn’t bother you. The only real option any one who gets shit like this has, is to A) Try and out-troll the troll
    B) Ignore it and keep enjoying your game, Or look into communities in which there are restrictions on whom can join.
    The thing that honestly annoys me the most about how people view teens, Especially teenage men, is that we’re all pompous douchebags devoid of emotion driven for sex and nothing else, We spend our money on drugs and video games, and never get anything done.
    Sadly, That applies to almost every god damned dude I know. I’m glad I don’t consider myself in that.

  • Holly

    @Fiya:

    Since you’re only 17, you’re not aware of this yet, but you know absolutely jack shit about life. Which is why this may be hard for you to understand. But trolling back and ignoring the problem are two ways of letting assholes continue to be assholes, instead of fighting the attitudes behind it. You’re essentially putting all responsibility on the victim to just deal with it, instead of calling out and eradicating bad behavior. That is not the answer.

  • -

    This is what comes up when you put “Ars Moriendii” and “Xbox” into Google: http://www.myspace.com/militaryxl

  • Jay

    I’m 20 who plays Xbox quite often and I think women playing videogames is cool. I think the remarks that women receive from other gamers are either 12, 20 something immature jackasses, or old perverts. There are many ways to handle that situation, but putting them on blast is neat idea

  • likeOMGitsFEDAY

    bwahahaha. gaming drunk. i love it. we would be good friends. = )

    thanks for the advice. we’re doing some major work this weekend cause of all our traffic. whew.

  • http://www.gamingpixie.com/ Rochelle

    I have to agree with you. It’s all about balance, sure, but I don’t see the insult here.

  • Shanna

    By your logic it’s understandable and possibly a-ok to lash out at someone completely unrelated to your issues. Example:

    Larry gets bitten by dog. Larry comes across a little puppy. Larry kicks it. Larry’s response is understandable and ok because some mean big dog bit him earlier.

    In what world does that make sense?

  • Pandemic

    do you take joy out of insulting teenagers online does it make you happy
    he was giving an honest opinion and you lash out at him cause he is 17
    your no better than the douches portrayed on this site

  • Rory

    Oh come on the average seventeen year old has a minuscule amount of life experience, and his writing reflected that.

  • Schnitter

    BWAHAHA! Well played, good sir!
    Good parody! That’s totally what those imbeciles would say!
    I almost thought you were seriou-

    wait, you WERE serious, weren’t you?
    FFS, why does stupidity never hurt the stupid person but everyone around them?
    You fail logic forever.

  • Schnitter

    While I agree with the first part about holding women to unrealistic standards…. I strongly disagree with the second part.
    Uhm, you know that’s not actually feminism, right?
    Feminism is AGAINST putting women on a pedestrial.
    Both, men and women, have flaws. It has nothing to do with their gender but with their personality. Feminism is about seeing men and women as people and about not having to adhere to stereotypes.

  • Schnitter

    THIS!
    A THOUSAND TIMES THIS
    Thank you for putting it so eloquently :)
    People who are less affected by this bullshit don’t realize that just sucking it up and ignoring it will not change a thing.

  • Schnitter

    Yeah, or they could realize that they got treated like shit irl by PEOPLE who are assholes and not lash out on everyone who happens to share their gender.
    I got treated like shit by girls and guys alike.
    Doesn’t give me the right to harass everyone. Instead, I see people as individuals with flaws.
    I think this is called “being a decent human being”.
    If a girl treats me like shit, that’s because she is an asshole, not because she has a vagina.
    If you harass all girls because of some being assholes anyway, you are a sexist.
    Hope that helps.

  • Schnitter

    EXACTLY!
    Things won’t change if we just ignore them and look away.
    It may make people who don’t have to deal with this kind of behaviour on a regular basis uncomfortable, but hey, tough luck.
    Just because it doesn’t affect you, Fiya, (and other people who do have to deal with it say it doesn’t affect them) doesn’t give you the right to dismiss the opinions of people who DO feel pissed off about that treatment.
    Wouldn’t it be better to show the assholes that this sort of behaviour is fucking disgusting?

  • http://www.facebook.com/icehedge Brad

    @- There’s no telling if that is Ars’s real myspace profile from what I can tell. Ctrl + F’ing Ars yields no results, so I’m not sure why google linked to that man’s myspace. I’m not saying it’s impossible that’s Ars’s myspace, but it doesn’t seem likely.

    ..but in regards to the message Ars sent, not only is it insulting to the receiver, but also makes me feel quite degraded and diminutive to be a male right now. It saddens me that easily 90% or more of the male audience that talks/is vocal online also have vulgar mouths with racists/sexist/harmful intents.

    This may have taken things too far, but coping Ars’s screenname over to xbox.com and sending a message was quite convenient and easy. I sent a message to him linking to this blog- not sure if there would be a solid reason not to given freedom of speech and this blog post is essentially about him and his mistake. =]

  • Ars Moriendii

    OMG IM FAMOUS! Ha ha ha did i hurt your little feewings? No wonder i get such lovely messages from all the tough guys taking up for all woman kind ha ha ha i could read these comments all day I just want to thank the person for turning me onto this and letting me know i am getting the fame and recognition an amazing person such as myself deserves! ROCK ON! ha ha ha ha ha

  • Ars Moriendii

    Also I would like to clear something up, We were not playing a video game, The insult came from something as simple as me disagreeing with the person i can’t even remember who it was on the forums, but the person had posted multiple annoying topics and i just felt the need to send a bit of a message that i honestly thought was fucking hilarious and it has turned me into a poster child for hating women ha ha ha

  • ars moriendii

    geez i was under the assumption that this was an active blog this shit is not very fun to troll take it easy im out haha

  • Brad

    @Ars – Oh.. I’m sorry for belittling you then.. I didn’t realize that by simply posting some annoying messages online, that it gave people the right to call women ‘dumb cunts’ and to tell them to ‘suck [a] dick.’ I’ll jought that down in my Basic Psychology notebook.. you know, the stuff that helps you better understand the mind of a child.

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